The worst headlines

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Even the worst book represents the author’s best effort, said
someone who described critics as the worst parasites.

 

Never mind.

 

Here are the worst headlines that a mail my friend Ajay
Mehra forwarded to me, actually calls ‘The Year’s Best Headlines of 2007’. Why 2007 headlines in 2009? I missed them then, but since I've seen them now, I'd much rather share them with you. So if you've seen these earlier, do forgive me and send me an update. I hasten to add that I
haven’t identified these headlines as qualifying for being amongst the world’s
worst headlines;  all I’ve done is taken this mail forward, deleted some
funny editorializing done by the original ‘forwarder’, and simply listed
the headlines. Honestly, they are so funny, they’re unbelievable. So, pasting
the following from that mail, and thanks Ajay!

 

THE YEAR'S BEST HEADLINES OF 2007:

(Yes, they were really printed as seen here)

 

1.      Something
Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

2.      Police
Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

3.      Panda
Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

4.      Miners
Refuse to Work after Death

5.      Juvenile
Court to Try Shooting Defendant

6.      War
Dims Hope for Peace

7.      If
Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile    

8.      Cold
Wave Linked to Temperatures

9.      Enfield
( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide 

10.  Red
Tape Holds Up New Bridges

11.  Man
Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge

12.  Astronaut
Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

13.  Kids
Make Nutritious Snacks

14.  Local
High School Dropouts Cut in Half

15.  Hospitals
are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

16.  Typhoon
Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead


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3 COMMENTS

  1. And here are my favourites…
    1. Enraged cow injures farmer with axe
    2. Queen Mary having bottom scraped
    3. Iraqi head seeks arms
    4. Grandmother of eight makes hole in one
    5. Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing
    6. Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
    7. House passes gas tax onto senate
    8. Stiff opposition expected to casketless funeral plan
    9. Two convicts evade noose, jury hung
    10. William Kelly was fed secretary
    11. Milk drinkers are turning to powder
    12. Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted
    13. Quarter of a million Chinese live on water
    14. Farmer bill dies in house
    15. Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests
    16. Two Soviet ships collide – one dies
    and the best one…. Is there is a ring of debris around uranus?
    Cheers!
    Mohan

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